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TheGrumpy Drivers' Club

Issue Five

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YOU’D BETTER LIKE IT…

Well, we’ve had a makeover, a facelift. Unlike the human verity (which seems to make some recipients resemble a racing greyhound in a wind tunnel), this one will hopefully take years off us. It should also make our site nicer to look at and easier to navigate. This is down to web designer Fran Hasleden, whose […]

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Grumpy Young Driver

ANOTHER SHOVELLED TOGETHER LIST OF CELEBRITY ‘STORIES’

TV motor racing pundit and ex-F1 supermo Eddie Jordan and noted authoress and socialite Jordan are rumoured to be collaborating on a range of monogrammed, retro-fit airbags. A ‘friend’ said; ‘they’re aiming for the lad’s mag market, and want to promote the airbags, which will be pink with lacy trimmings, under the brand name ‘Jordan! […]

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As estates go, this one's good looking

Grumpy Seat Leon ST test

Seat has launched an estate version of its Golf-sized Leon, and it’s rather good. That it’s based on the latest Golf helps, but the car, dubbed Leon ST, works in its own right. The styling is pleasantly pulled together, if anything more so than the slightly awkward hatchback Leon, and features a distinctive crease running […]

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Grumpy Audi RS-6 test

Do you remember the term ‘Q-car’, which referred to something that didn’t look fast but actually went like the clappers? It was popular in the 1950s and ’60s and had its origins in the World War II, when the Royal Navy deployed vessels that looked innocent, but were stuffed with armaments and a lot quicker […]

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Dacia 2

Grumpy Old Dacia Sandero test

It’s a small irony that Renault owns Dacia and a big chunk (around 44%) of Nissan, and in recent years both have, overall, enjoyed greater success than their parent. Mind you, things might be changing, as Renault is trying desperately hard to make cars that people actually want. For years, Dacia was Renault’s near-comatose Romanian […]

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Grumpy old celebrity driver. Tim Bentinck

To say that Tim Bentinck likes Volkswagens is rather like saying he’s an actor who appears in a radio soap opera – it’s a bit of an understatement. Bentinck is the voice of David Archer, which makes him a perma-presence in the national institution that is Radio 4’s ‘The Archers’, a slice of British popular […]

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WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

Anniversaries tend to creep up on you like cobwebs in the corners of pre spring-clean rooms. Suddenly, it is 30 years since the launch of the Sinclair C5, that pioneering but impractical little one-seater electric car that was Sir Clive Sinclair’s vision of city transport for the late 20th century. As one of those at […]

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BOOTIFUL!

When you’ve been going to car boot sales for as long as I have, then very little about the buying and selling process is remotely fazing. But if you’re a rookie, the scariest thing about them happens the moment you rock up in your Vauxhall Astra crammed with your unwanted tat. I call them ‘The […]

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THE GRUMPY OLD BIKER

Most self-respecting bike brands produce their own lines of liveried clothing and Royal Enfield, whose GT Continental I rode last month, is no exception. It has a bright and comparatively inexpensive range of gear designed to complement the bikes. The GT Continental Riding Jacket is reasonably good value at £139.99, even if the designers overdid […]

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GET ON DOWN. GENESIS REVULSION?

I’ve had an epiphany. Not on the road to Damascus, which, like the M3 is best avoided these days, but on the road to the Geneva Motor Show. I thought I would use the trip to test drive a new four hour compilation of a band I’ve never liked and one which still divides opinion […]

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THE GRUMPY OLD CYCLIST

It has been a bad winter for cycling, and I don’t mean the weather – it felt long, for sure, but not especially wet and not especially cold. No, the badness of this winter has nought to do with the season. Except metaphorically, which is much, much worse than the sensual gloom of any January […]

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'In the good old days we had staff to wind the car windows'

GILES CHAPMAN’S WEIRD ACCESSORIES: It’s a wind up

Could Britain’s rampant obesity problem actually have arisen in the forearm area? For surely the nation’s upper-extremity flabbiness can be partly blamed on the near universal fitment of electric windows in cars these days. There would be absolutely no chance of suet pudding travelling directly to the limb area between shoulder and elbow in times […]

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RUBBER CHICKEN!

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